Interesting post from Everyday Climb regarding the use of antidepressants with Bipolar Disorder type 2.

Everydayclimb's Blog

Bipolar 2 disorder sufferers have episodes of hypomania which aren’t generally severe enough for them to think anything is “wrong.” They just seem to be in a great mood and feeling very social and creative. Their depressive states, however, are more severe. The sufferers tend to seek help while in a state of depression, therefore obtaining prescriptions for an antidepressants.

In a study by an Italian psychiatric disorders expert, Franco Benazzi, MD, PhD, says that studies show that antidepressants and a bipolar 2 patient may not make a good combination.

http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/news/20070315/antidepressants-risky-for-biopolar-disorder

Also, below is an excellent sourceof links and specific information on the use of antidepressants in those with bipolar. Very, very interesting material.

http://www.psycheducation.org/bipolar/controversy.htm

Take a look, ready a bit. Be informed, my dears.

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Quote from Prozac Nation

“I’m the girl who is lost in space, the girl who is disappearing always, forever fading away and receding farther and farther into the background. Just like the Cheshire cat, someday I will suddenly leave, but the artificial warmth of my smile, that phony, clownish curve, the kind you see on miserably sad people and villains in Disney movies, will remain behind as an ironic remnant. I am the girl you see in the photograph from some party someplace or some picnic in the park, the one who is in fact soon to be gone. When you look at the picture again, I want to assure you, I will no longer be there. I will be erased from history, like a traitor in the Soviet Union. Because with every day that goes by, I feel myself becoming more and more invisible…” 

~Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

From: Quotes About Bipolar, GoodReads.com

Another Quote from Unquiet Minds

I posted a quote from Kay Redfield Jamison’s An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness previously.  Here is another one regarding depression, how the depressed view it & how the inexperienced see it.  We tend to think of Depression as this great sadness, but it truly is defined by its absence of feeling.  If you could be sad you could hope for happy, but when you feel nothing, want nothing not even life, where do you go?

“Others imply that they know what it is like to be depressed because they have gone through a divorce, lost a job, or broken up with someone. But these experiences carry with them feelings. Depression, instead, is flat, hollow, and unendurable. It is also tiresome. People cannot abide being around you when you are depressed. They might think that they ought to, and they might even try, but you know and they know that you are tedious beyond belief: you are irritable and paranoid and humorless and lifeless and critical and demanding and no reassurance is ever enough. You’re frightened, and you’re frightening, and you’re “not at all like yourself but will be soon,” but you know you won’t.”

From: Quotes About Bipolar, GoodReads.com

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself.

The Saddest Miracle

After watching my last Netflix movie the same day it came in, I went yesterday to drop if off at the post office.  I had an out-of-town appointment I was running late for, so I went by the post office there afterward.  I saw the pickup time was 4PM, & by my watch it was 4:18PM.  I thought, “Crap!  Hopefully there’ll be a Chrimbo miracle & the pickup is running late so it can still go out today.”  I then realized that would be the worst miracle ever.  It was only the day after I got it & it can’t be late, so no late fees to worry about.

Got an email this morning they received my dvd.  What a waste:(  I should have wished for world peace or something useful.

But in other news, had my first visit with the psych nurse since I went back to the MHC yesterday.  We discussed some options, but ended up going back with lamotrigine.  I am dead set against any more antipsychotics  if I can help it, & the other option was a twice daily dose.  I am really good about taking my meds at bedtime, but any other time is too easy for me to forget/put off till it becomes a missed dose.  I’m a terrible patient.   I also made my case for a prn anxiety med & got some buspirone.  My prescription coverage kicks in tomorrow & I get paid Friday, so I’ll be getting them then.

Wish me luck!

My Mind Gets To Wandering…

(source: I know the art is Charles Schultz, but the actual image is rambling around tumblr with no source.)

I found this being reblogged ad infinitum on tumblr.  Tried to track down an original source for it, but all I could find was a reference to Charles Schultz, the creator of Snoopy & the Peanuts gang.

I strongly identify with poor Snoopy lying awake on his doghouse not being able to sleep because he can’t shut his brain off.  We should get started on that meditation I posted about earlier.

Troll Dad Is An Asshole…

but this still makes me giggle.

(source: MemeBase.com)

Yep, This Is Exactly What It’s Like…

I wake up so many days bursting with all this energy & plans for the day, but give me about twenty minutes, if that long, & it’s gone.  Blah.  Sometimes it all lasts longer, like long enough to spend money on things like gym memberships, personal trainers, & expensive running shoes which I am forced to keep paying for even after that mood has passed, & I’m floundering in the depressive state.  All those become just more check marks in the “I’m a loser” column.

I have seen this in several places on the 'net, but can't find a source for it. There is a sig, but nothing I can decipher. Sorry:(

Hmmm…

So the other day I posted something about beards on Facebook.  A female friend & I commented on what we would do with our facial hair if we were dudes.

So I posted a pic on her fb page:

I included a little story behind the photo:

“mustache, can’t believe i never posted this on my fb before now. he was in front of me on the bus omw back from c******** when i went after xmas 2009. i visited my friend t**** who passed this year 😦 but – mustache”

She commented, “Wow, that might be the most bipolar thing I’ve ever read.”

Mostly I giggled because we’ve known each other almost twenty years now, so we both know where we’re coming from on these things.  But it did make me think about all the odd little “inappropriate” things I’m prone to saying.  I have always been one for the tangents & inserting bleak little remarks like that into things.  I never thought of that as a bipolar thing though.  Just assumed it was because I’m weird.  Who knew?

Truer Words…

“Manic-depression distorts moods and thoughts, incites dreadful behaviors, destroys the basis of rational thought, and too often erodes the desire and will to live. It is an illness that is biological in its origins, yet one that feels psychological in the experience of it, an illness that is unique in conferring advantage and pleasure, yet one that brings in its wake almost unendurable suffering and, not infrequently, suicide.”

~Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods & Madness~
(Bipolar Quotes)